


Friendly Dark

by the_frosty_doctor



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Anger Management, F/M, Headspace, Meditation, Probably Mental Illness, anger issues, rage attack, strong emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:03:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17082560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_frosty_doctor/pseuds/the_frosty_doctor
Summary: Meditation and anger can go hand in hand.





	Friendly Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Title is inspired by the song 'Friendly Dark' by Ollie MN.

_“Let yourself relax, and feel the weight of your body against your seat, your feet on the ground-“_

The sound of the placid voice suddenly starts fading out as calloused fingers tickle her neck and the headphone in her right ear is gently pulled away.

“Earth to Caitlin. We need you in the cortex-“ Cisco’s face scrunches into confusion as he hears the tiny voice playing from device in his hand,

“-what are you listening to?”

She reaches out a hand to nab the earphone from him, but it hangs in the air as he puts the headphone up to his ear.

Her hand then thumps gently on the soft couch she’s currently twisted up on in a cross legged position as she watches him listen to the meditation track that’s still playing in her other ear.

There’s a pause.

_“If a thought comes, observe it, then gently let it go. Acknowledge it, but don’t get stuck in it-“_ She taps pause on her phone, the soothing voice replaced by silence and the beat of her heart echoing in her ears.

He’s not going to make a jab at her listening to it right? He probably wouldn’t, but she doesn’t want to have to explain-

“It’s a uh, meditation thing-“ she blurts our before her thoughts can derail anymore.

“Yeah. The uh, app right? Headspace?”

The shock must show on her face, because he gives a sharp exhale and a soft grin as he hands back the headphone. Their hands gently connect as she takes it back, then watches him carefully when he steps to the side and sits down beside her.

“I listen it sometimes. Usually when I need to calm down or focus. What about you?”

The plastic earbuds click together as she fumbles with them while searching for an answer.

“I..I guess I like it to calm down too.”

“You guess?” He tilts his head to the side as his expression turns into confusion, with the exception of a soft one sided smile.

“Well. It allows me to not be so angry sometimes. I can get so caught up that my anger just, dissipates. Usually.”

He’s silent, as if sensing there’s more.

“I um, I find that my anger can be consuming. Like, it’s hard to just snap out of it. Honestly, I think that’s a big portion of what Frost is. She's a lot better now, but she still is just a version of me that is possessed with the anger and pain that I’ve never really dealt with.

After the whole Savitar situation, I got so wound up thinking about it and what I had done that-that my mind just split. I guess I couldn’t deal with it.

Point is, this mediation stuff usually helps.”

“Usually?”

She gives a small shrug, her downward gaze causing her hair to shift forward and cover the sides of her face.

“Sometimes it doesn’t help. I feel like I’m on a ledge, tipping between between me and plunging into the dark, negative emotions. That’s how I felt a lot when we were dealing with Savitar. It felt like anything could set me off, and I was terrified it would. That I would just lose myself and lash out.”

She gives a small laugh, dry and humourless.

“Then it did.”

“So?”

Caitlin blinks. Her brows furrow as her head moves up, then to the side to look at Cisco incredulously.

“What do you mean, ‘ _so’_?”

“I mean, yes, it happened. But you got over it. You’re still here, along us, fighting the good fight.

Just because you lost then, it doesn’t mean you always will. Who knows, you could lose that fight again. But I know you, and I know you’ll get right back up and keep fighting.

It’s what you’ve always done. But now, you have us, me, to help you too.”

Suddenly, there’s a loud buzzing. Cisco digs around in his pocket before pulling out his lit-up phone.

“Crap, okay. I need to be in the cortex.” He stands up, but places a hand on her shoulder and uses the other to gently push her hair behind her ear.

“Join us when you’re ready okay?” Then he’s gone, with only the memory of the weight of his hands and the love in his eyes.

She gives a soft smile to his retreating figure, inserts her headphone, and presses play.


End file.
